I was in such a great rhythm going to yoga on a regular basis. It felt so good to be in a warm, dark room in the winter time. To go inward and be still and quiet 3 times a week. And I was getting stronger! I could feel myself doing harder postures with more ease and flow. An hour class started to feel shorter and shorter as the practice became more regular for me.
Then it got sunny and nice out!
And I wanted to be outdoors more – soaking up the sunshine, working in my garden, taking longer walks. So my yoga practice started to get dusty.
There were cobwebs forming on my yoga mat.
So as I planned out my weekend last Friday, I made a promise to myself to get to yoga for my favorite Sunday afternoon class. I had to get back on the mat again. Even if it was hard or I felt out of practice. I really wanted to show up.
Showing up is all of it really.
If we cheat ourselves and follow the excuses, stall for time or start a giant project to sabotage ourselves from doing something, then we ultimately end up feeling pretty crappy that we didn’t uphold our promise or keep up our accountability to our goals.
Hiding doesn’t make it go away. It doesn’t make things better.
The psychology literature shows that our self-esteem and confidence increase by taking healthy risks. Even if we “fail” – we still feel better for having tried something than not to have tried at all.
So today was HARD! I felt clumsy and sore. Sweaty and stiff. I was struggling through the postures and as I looked around I couldn’t help but compare myself to everyone else in the room (a totally non-yoga thing to do). They all seemed to be having a much easier time than I was. I was feeling challenged by everything. I was getting toe cramps and Charlie horses in simple poses I used to love. The music was so perfect, it almost made me tear up. I was having a moment!
I could have easily dipped into a story that I really shouldn’t have gone or maybe I should just drop my membership to the studio.
But I didn’t.
I decided to close my eyes for a moment and give myself a mental permission slip.
I gave myself permission to go at my own pace today and not judge myself or allow myself to worry that others were judging me. I gave myself permission to adapt as needed and move into child’s pose for a rest once in a while.
“You’re here, Meg. You showed up. You’re here for you. You could lay here flat on your back for the majority of this class and it would still be a victory because you got to your mat again.”
This week I challenge you to show up! How can you hold yourself accountable and uphold a promise to yourself – large or small? How can you stop thinking about doing something and just take action? Do you need to give yourself permission? Compassion? Self-love in a non-judgemental way? Do you need to harness some courage? Step over your feelings of insecurity or vulnerability? How can you nudge yourself to show up – when showing up is more than half of getting anything done?
I’d love to hear what’s working for you!